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Of course you know, this means NERF WAR!
When my brother and I were growing up, we kind of invented the best game ever, NERF WAR!
Now it wasn’t necessary to have the ultra-expensive nerf GUNS to play this game, any foam football or playground or inflatable ball would do.
Basically, the entire game was running around in the yard pummeling the hell out of each other (and all the other kids) all day.
See, my mom was kind of the neighborhood babysitter, and even the kids she didn’t watch for money were always at our house to play outside. So we always had a stash of balls to choose from.
The rules of the game were simple:
1. You can only use your weapon (ball). No touching, kicking, etc, balls lying on the ground.
2. You can only attack someone who is armed.
3. No ganging up on someone, nor “guarding” their weapon (ball lying on ground) and waiting for them to go to pick it up and then nailing them.
4. Stay in the yard.
With these simple rules in place, we had the most fun ever, running dodging and smacking the hell out of each other with foam/inflatable balls. Nerf footballs were the most versatile of the bunch, but I had my favorite, a medium sized pinkish marbled playball that stung if you threw it hard enough. The blue Nerf Football was also a good choice when I wanted more accuracy, but only one weapon per person.
Anyway, as kids will be kids, I quickly developed this ‘uncanny ability’ or if you want to call it, a destructive aim to (not on purpose, I swear!) nail my brother in the balls. Let me just say that “center mass” was the juiciest target, and maybe I subconsciously left my release a little late.
So the ball would fly true, and smack him right in the cojones, and he’d crumple to the ground with tears forming in his eyes. Then I’d run. Because as soon as he recovered enough, he was after me to chase me down and get some payback, of the hitting kind. So he’d run me down, and I’d cringe/hunch over, knowing what was coming, and he’d THUMP! me right in the back.
Decades later and my brother has three gorgeous kids, which my sister-in-law says are a miracle because of all the hits my brother took to the groin. But could claim I was just killing all the ugly kid making swimmy cells. Seriously, these kids are C-U-T-E.
I kind of want to introduce the kids to the joys of “NERF War” soon, but I think it can wait until I buy a cup.
Spider Jerusalem
I’ve been working on my Spider Jerusalem Quote Page(s), which there’s a list of over to the right. I’m being more discerning on quotes and trying not to just copy descriptions of the action and dialogue in the TPBs. The only thing I have to worry about is a C&D, so I’m trying to limit them a bit and hopefully it will spur interest in the Transmetropolitan comic book series.
Webcomic Ho!
Just started updating my webcomic in earnest, which is what you see when you go to SexCpotatoes.com.
I will do my best to update it whenever I get a day off, and I will soon begin work on more fun drawing and design that will be put up at SexCpotatoes Designs.
I’ve been drawing a lot of shoes lately.
Nothing Fancy, Moving On
No ironic picture, and no fancy ‘I told you so’ here. This is just a simple post to bring everything down to a simmer with the Redflex situation in the City of Canton.
I am still itching to start the petition to outlaw photo enforcement in Canton, Ohio. I suppose though, I can promise not to embarrass the Mayor further by rubbing salt in the open wound. The citizens have spoken, and the words are “no cameras.” Let’s hope he’s got the listening hat on.
Steve McKinney has been invaluable in getting the facts about the way Redflex (and other system operators’ schemes work, and how they fail). You should check out his in-depth coverage @ http://www.cantonredlightcameras.com if you haven’t already.
I’ve been a little busy, so I didn’t know about the March 17th meeting that the City Council Members (and Mayor apparently) had. I’m happy the citizens turned out in such numbers and voiced their opinions against the Red Light Camera scheme.
I was all set to help join all the anti-photo enforcement groups together to stop HB 2 or get it repealed because our State Legislature was trying to put Photo Enforcement Radar Speed Cameras out in construction zones all over Ohio. At $300 a pop, that’s an expensive reminder not to speed in construction zones, and unnecessary too! People do slow down in construction zones, many times they are empty, but with that scheme, it wouldn’t cost them anything to sit someone in a vehicle doing paperwork and call the construction zone “occupied” so they could rack up the fines.
Anyway, since that looks like it’s a dead issue (so far), I’ve decided to move on to a series of posts with ideas of what could really be done to help improve the City of Canton. I could have gone negative and reported on all the shenanigans and political fighting and such that’s going on with the Mayor, Council, etc, but I feel that The Stark County Political Report is doing an excellent job thoroughly covering those stories, as well as reporting on the conflict of interest and The Repository’s kinda sorta softball coverage of anything to do with Mayor Healy. I alluded to having suspicions about their coverage of the Redflex issues in my previous blog post, but I didn’t expect the truth to out so quickly!
Anyway, I’ve got a minimum of five good blog posts about how A Mayor could help to turn the City of Canton around. Maybe more than that, so check back later to read some zany common sense ideas from yours truly, Nicholas Cincinat.
Thanks for reading, hope to see you back here soon (no I am not spying on you! I only know how many views my blog gets in a month! That’s all).
From the Streets, Yo
Just a list of street suffixes. Did you know them all? What kind of “street” do you live on?
Alley
Avenue
Boulevard
Center
Circle
Court
Cresent
Dale
Drive
Expressway
Freeway
Garden
Grove
Heights
Highway
Hill
Knoll
Lane
Loop
Mall
Oval
Park
Parkway
Path
Pike
Place
Plaza
Point
Road
Route
Row
Run
Square
Street
Terrace
Thruway
Trail
Turnpike
Viaduct
Walk
Way
I wanna ratchet up the vitriol…
I wanna ratchet up the vitriol… I want my words to sear the flesh of my enemies, real or imagined, dialed down so tight they burn with the white hot fury of my very own brand of genius.
Stamp. Stamp. Stamp.
Read anything written by H.L. Mencken, The words of comic book character Spider Jerusalem, this is what I wish I could turn out every day, and I hope that I’m working towards it as I type. I’m sure it’s going slowly, but as long as progress is continually made, I guess I have nothing to complain about.
Don’t suffer the demagogues and boondoggles, call everyone out, including yourself, on half-truths, and destroy the bald-faced liars.
Massillon Cable TV Digital Douchebaggery
I feel a little stupid for not realizing this before, but it just hit me this morning. Among the myriad of problems we will be facing with Digital TV, is the neutering of all home-built DVRs.
I spent a lot of money building up my refurbished Media Center computer to be able to record television shows while I am at work.
NOW, my local cable company is shifting to ALL DIGITAL, using the broadcast changeover to justify their decision to screw everyone. I’ve seen their digital feed, and pixellating images are the order of the day with their sub-par service. The picture freezes, fits, and starts are not welcome here. They also have raised the price!
I almost have to have their crappy digital cable because I need internet access. There is AT&T DSL available, but I canceled my phone service through them because of their bullshit opposition of net neutrality, and didn’t regret it in the slightest when I heard about all the warrantless wiretapping. I refuse to give them any money when they actively seek to censor the internet, and spy on American citizens.
The cable company too, is now skating the edge of losing their funding with my hard earned dollars. If you want to have internet access, without paying the $55 a month for ‘basic’ cable tv, you are assessed a $10/month “line accesss charge,” which is complete bullshit. The only way around it is to pay $21.75/month for “welfare/ghetto” cable (you know, just channels 2-22, the major networks plus local access, and c-span, and the spanish channel. Only about 5 of those are decent channels and that includes the PBS). The only funny thing is that you can add HD and Internet packages onto the Ghetto Cable service, thus keeping your bill somewhat reasonably priced.
I think I’m stuck getting one of their stupid converter box things, then leaving the box on all the time, and switching it to the channel I want to record on, before I head off to work. Then, even though I’ve got a DUAL-TUNER PC card, I would almost bet 1 trillion dollars that the f-digital converter box only does one f-channel at a f-time!
I’m just a little bit pissed, can’t you tell?
Fuck you, Massillon Cable TV.
Edit: Now that I did a little bit more research, I’ve found that they do make dual tuner digital PCI cards, so I’m going to Massillon Cable in the very near future and requesting a service credit of over $100 so that I can buy a new TV tuner card that decodes digital signals. Wish me luck.
Receipt Art
This was done with a library receipt (thermal printing paper). I was reading a book, using the library receipt as a bookmark, and nuking popcorn for lunch at work.
I wondered what it would look like if I briefly touched the hot bag of popcorn to the receipt, and got this. Cool flaming skull with big teeth type thing. Pretty neat.
No better than five minutes of Sympathy
No better than five minutes of Sympathy is what you can expect from that special woman in your life if you have the flu…
Oh well, that’s at least two minutes more attention that most guys absolutely need.
How To Stop Chain Emails and Chain Letters
Okay, this is your all purpose nullifier. This will stop dead any curse chain letter that you may ever recieve. You read this, and if you feel like it, then post it in your blog or journal, and you are forever protected. Nothing can ever harm you again unless you are weak minded enough to believe it. Even if a letter or list CLAIMS to supercede THIS statement, it will not. Seriously people, there is no point in messing with my voodoo unless you want an infinite duration of pain.
That being said, this statement also gives you free rein to turn a curse back on the person who was enough of an asshole to post one of those chain letters in your comments, or to send you the email, letter, etc. To do this, you must send the idiot who sent you the original chain letter, the precise number of copies of the email or comment or chain letter you were meant to distribute (or more). Any retaliation on their part will have no effect, as you are protected by this nullification statement. Besides, if you send them 10-15 emails or notes that state they have to send out an additional 10-15 MORE emails or comments per every copy you’ve sent them and they’ll bug the fuck out. I had some girl I had talked to back in the AOL days literally break down in tears, well, I got an email from her begging me to stop sending her the chain letters, the email was desperate/weepy.
Anywho, please do not distribute this without giving credit to me, but feel free to post it to your own blog, website, or comments wherever, that’s how the immunity works. Refer people to the original post here, or to read the post in your blog or journal. There is no sense in having a protective nullification statement if you’re just going to turn it into another fucking chain spam email.
So there we go:
Thank you for your time. -SexCpotatoes
P.S. and those goddamn question lists give you cancer, stop it or your genitals will most certainly fall off, then come back to life, and screw you until you bleed from all of your orifices. Good day.
Tags: All, All Purpose, Chain, Chain Comments, Chain Email, Chain Letter, Chain Letters, Cry, Email, Immunity, Letter, Nullification, Payback, Purpose, Retaliation, Return, Return To Sender, Sender, Spam, Sugar Chain, Sugar Chain Picture, Superstition, Tears, To