A Modest Automotive Proposal (pt 4)
I can think of no single objection, that will possibly be raised against this proposal, unless it should be urged, that the number of jobs will be thereby much lessened in the kingdom. This I freely own, and ’twas indeed one principal design in offering it to the world. I desire the reader will observe, that I calculate my remedy for this one individual Kingdom of Automobilia, and for no other that ever was, is, or, I think, ever can be upon Earth. Therefore let no man talk to me of other expedients: Of taxing our oil companies: Of using neither tariffs, nor universal healthcare, even an Apollo style energy program: Nor of utterly rejecting the materials and instruments that are products of foreign luxury: Of curing the expensiveness of pride, vanity, idleness, and bumbling management: Of introducing a vein of parsimony, prudence and temperance in executive compensation: Of learning to love our country, and its products, wherein we differ even from Europeans, and the inhabitants of Asia: Of quitting our animosities and factions, nor acting any longer like the Germans, who were trying to veto Porsche control at the very moment their Volkswagen was taken: Of being a little cautious not to sell our country and consciences for nothing: Of teaching manufacturers to have at least one degree of mercy towards their suppliers. Lastly, of putting a spirit of honesty, industry, and skill into our dealers, who, if a resolution could now be taken to buy only our native goods, would immediately unite to cheat and exact upon us in the price, the measure, and the goodness, nor could ever yet be brought to make one fair proposal of just dealing, though often and earnestly invited to it.
Therefore I repeat, let no man talk to me of these and the like expedients, ’till he hath at least some glympse of hope, that there will ever be some hearty and sincere attempt to put them into practice.
But, as to my self, having been wearied out for many years with offering vain, idle, visionary thoughts, and at length utterly despairing of success, I fortunately fell upon this proposal, which, as it is wholly new, so it hath something solid and real, of great expence and much trouble, full in our own power, and hubris whereby we can incur no danger in disobliging America. For this kind of commodity will excellently bear exportation, and manufacture of automobiles no longer being vital to our survival as a nation, to admit a long continuance in sale of these companies, although perhaps I could name a country, which would be glad to eat up our whole nation without pause.
After all, I am not so violently bent upon my own opinion as to reject any offer proposed by wise men, which shall be found equally innocent, cheap, easy, and effectual. But before something of that kind shall be advanced in contradiction to my scheme, and offering a better, I desire the author or authors will be pleased maturely to consider two points. First, as things now stand, how will they be able to find salary for an hundred thousand useless mouths and backs. And secondly, there being a round million of excess cars new in stock throughout this kingdom, whose whole subsistence put into a common stock would leave them in debt two trillion of pounds sterling, adding those who are beggars by profession to the bulk of suppliers, manufacturers, and laborers, with their wives and children depending on them: I desire those politicians who dislike my overture, and may perhaps be so bold as to attempt an answer, that they will first ask the taxpayers, whether they would not at this day think it a great happiness to have been sold for the benefit of a wicked few, in the manner I prescribe, and thereby have avoided such a perpetual scene of misfortunes as they have since gone through by the oppression of the big three, the impossibility of paying rent without money or trade, the want of common sense, with neither house nor clothes to cover them from the inclemencies of the weather, and the most inevitable prospect of financing the like or greater miseries foisted upon by these automobile manufacturers for ever.
I profess, in the sincerity of my heart, that I have not the least personal interest in endeavoring to promote this necessary work, having no other motive than the public good of my country, by advancing our trade, providing for workers, relieving the poor, and giving many billions to the rich. I have no affiliation by which I can propose to get a single penny out of this; as I do not work for, own or mismanage an auto manufacturer. To you all I bid a good day, and God bless.
The End
Many Apologies, and all credit to Jonathan Swift, who wrote the original A Modest Proposal which I adapted.
I really very liked this post. Can I copy it to my site?
Thank you in advance.
Sincerely, Your Reader.
Sure, feel free to copy it to your site, as long as proper attribution is given. I keep forgetting to make my stuff creative commons licensed, I’ll get around to it eventually, but feel free to as long as you credit SexCpotatoes as the author.
add more plants and put out food for them